2 am

This sucks. I will be so tired tomorrow and for what? really!

There was an open mic/poetry reading we went to tonight. It was hella tight. Apparently there was some peace being passed around- which I had no idea about! I was in the same room, I didn't notice ANY smoking ANY smells,nothing! It makes me wonder how many other times I've miss it.

Tomorrow I have my human ecology course. Some woman just called me had to say she could talk about permacultre for two hours. How wierd is that? I didn't know what I was going to do tomorrow. Probably watch a video and dismiss class early/study hall thing, you know like in highschool.

Emily just rolled me an American Spirit. I really needed one... Thanks Emily.

Death

I know somebody who died last saturday. His funeral is tomorrow. I don't know if I ever talked to him but I've talked to his ex-wife and daughter a lot. He had a six-stringed bass and everyone in my high-school thought he was cool.

I just realized how much I idolize Eliot's nap time. My whole day is for his nap. And just how do I use this time? I try to do something I can't do very well when he's awake: eating in peace, sitting in quiet, taking a bath, reading, whatever. I feel like its my time of the day. So consequently, during this time I am aware of my passing moments- I end up in a stressful state during the entire napping time. Really I now that his awake time is not that bad- its actually quite pleasant in fact.

I wish...

more than anything:
to be ten degrees warmer
that the carpet would give rise to the wood underneath
that I was painting
that Micah had a kick ass job in the Pacific NW
that I had honey for my tea
that I was a better person/wife/mother/friend
that I was ready for school to start meaning:
that everything was in the right place.
that Eliot could be watched over when I'm gone.

Question:
Why do they write such things?

Answer:
Because they're in love!